Review: All I Want for Christmas Is a Vampire

All I Want for Christmas Is a Vampire (Love at Stake, Book 5) by Kerrelyn Sparks

Toni Davis’s Christmas wish list

1. Springing my best friend from the psych ward.
2. Living somewhere that doesn’t have coffins in the basement. Occupied coffins.
3. Finding Mr. Right. Please make him tall, dark, handsome, and alive.

This Christmas isn’t so merry for Toni. Her best friend’s been locked up in a mental hospital ever since she told the police she was attacked by vampires, and the only way for Toni to get her out is to prove that bloodsuckers really do exist. So she’s taken a job as a bodyguard for the Undead, but she gets more than she bargained for, especially when she meets Ian MacPhie, a Scottish rascal looking for Ms. Right.

Although Ian’s nearly five centuries old, he looks and acts like a twenty-seven-year-old hunk.

How can a dead man be so damn sexy? Could Mr. Wrong be Mr. Right? One forbidden kiss could lead to an eternity of passion—and all it takes is one moment under the mistletoe . . .

Review:
So on Friday, I was doing the hop and visiting blogs when I came across this book on Addicted to Romance. The cover and title instantly sold me. All I Want for Christmas is a Vampire?! Wow! It was like someone was reading my mind Christmas wish list. *giggles*

Toni Davis didn’t believe in vampires on Monday and by Wednesday she is working for them. Vampires landed her friend in a psych ward, and Toni is out to prove that her friend is not crazy. She hates the undead for attacking her friend and then her, and once she finds the proof she needs she plans to get the hell out of dodge. She never expects to actually fall in love with a vampire until she meets the one corpse that is anything but a rotting carcass.

Ian MacPhie endured a painful transformation to change his 15 year old face to match the face of the man he felt raging inside of him. He did this so he could find his true love, a vamp woman who would take him seriously and become his mate. But then he meets a mortal with a sweet ass, and suddenly, all he can think about is Toni. 

Having never read anything by Sparks before, I think reading this book as an introduction to her novels didn’t work in my favor. Yes, I found the story to be very amusing with some clever plays at humor, but many times throughout, I got bored with the story. I think the “good” Vamps were too good, drinking only synthetic blood or bleer (I couldn’t stop snorting when I read that), taking in every misfit and stray, and playing Secret Santa. With vampires, you at least want the illusion of a bad boy. 

And then there were the lost in translation Scottish accents. When you read, the only way you can hear accents is in your head, right? And while I think this works very well sometimes, like with the yummy Brit accent Bones has, I couldn’t get into it with the Highlanders. Every time I came across words like lass, doona, dinna, and no’ all I could imagine was… what is the politically correct term for Leprechauns?… dancing around in my head. I know the accent is sexy, if Gerard Butler is any indication, but on paper, it just made the guys seem brutish and dumb.

I obviously missed some world building by starting with the fifth book in the series. These vampires are very technologically advanced, creating drugs which enable them to stay awake during the day, age, and even have children. Sure, my interest was peeked at what the rest of the books might offer to explain some of these things, but not too much.

All I Want for Christmas Is a Vampire is your typical happily ever after romance between two stubborn people with trust issues who realized that they are best suited for each other. I’d say give it a try as a holiday read if you are looking for some laughs, even the sexy times between Toni and Ian ended up being hilarious, but expect some predicable plot bunnies in the storyline. 

And check out the freaking awesome backstep and tagline!

Because, YES! The first thing I think when I see a ginormous bat flying towards my window is I should get naked! Hahahahaha! Love it!

Read for the All About {n} 2010 Holiday Reading Challenge:

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Posted at 4:13 pm  •  Labels: 3 stars, Book Review, holiday reading, Kindle Edition, paranormal romance, Vampires